Knave’s Kitchen

Creative Tourist
Knave's Kitchen

Review by Dan Curley: Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat, but you won’t be gorging on its cranberry-covered corpse at Knave’s Kitchen. Based inside the Oporto Bar in central Leeds, this junk food joint’s menu is 100% plant-based, and for the second year running, they’re launching a Christmas menu – perfect for those who’d rather scoff rhubarb than Rudolph.

Top of the menu is rude-sounding “Moist Maker Xmas Burger”, a mountain of scran stuffed in a bun with a seitan-Turkey patty, slaw, gravy, some soft toast and roast potatoes. Trying to eat it with your hands is like trying to brush your teeth with a toilet brush – this is a knife and fork jobby. It’s moist, and goes down a treat. We also had a taste of the “Seitan’s Little Helper” – a chunky hotdog with cranberry ketchup, vegan bacon (made out of rice paper, yet genuinely baconic in taste), onions and smoked sriracha mayo. It’s a bit drier than the burger, has a spicy kick, and can easily be munched down using your mitts.

A Christmas menu for those who’d rather scoff rhubarb than Rudolph

The next dish we tried was the “Pizza Stocking”, which looks a lot more like a cornish pasty. Slice it open and its innards reveal vegan sausage, pizza sauce, mushrooms, onion jam and it comes with a garlic dipping sauce. It doesn’t look like pizza but it does taste like pizza.

At this stage I’ve eaten far too much and can’t even make a dent in the “Boxing Day Fries”, spicy fries covered in vegan turkey, pastry and allotment (veggie) gravy. This is not a side – it’s a main that could do for two. Dessert comes in the shape of “Pumpkin Spiced Waffle”, a pudding with a large waffle loaded with mixed berries, vegan ice cream and cinnamon icing. Again – this is no dessert for one – I manage a single spoon’s worth or risk suffering a similar death to the gluttony geezer in the film Seven.

The Pizza Stocking doesn’t look like pizza but it does taste like pizza

The Christmas menu at Knave’s Kitchen is available from the 1st Dec. Prices are online, plus they mentioned a £50 platter in which you get one of everything and share it among your group. Oporto is a late-night bar, occasionally one with live music, so would make for a perfect Christmas party venue for vegans.

31 Call LaneLeedsLS1 7BT View map
Telephone: 01132454444 Visit Now

Opening Hours

  • Monday5:00pm - 8:00pm
  • Tuesday12:00pm - 10:00pm
  • Wednesday12:00pm - 10:00pm
  • Thursday12:00pm - 10:00pm
  • Friday12:00pm - 10:00pm
  • Saturday12:00pm - 10:00pm
  • Sunday12:00pm - 10:00pm

Always double check opening hours with the venue before making a special visit.

Culture Guides


We go all in on festivals, with a round-up of everything from city-spanning giants to grassroots gems you may not know about.


There's no rest for the art lover - this month brings outdoor sculpture, musings on water, political drawings and Liverpool Biennial 2023!

Classical Music

Summer's classical music calendar is filling up nicely! Read our top picks of concerts happening in Manchester and the North.

Winnie the Pooh at Manchester Opera House

The sun has finally got his hat on! Enjoy our top picks of family-friendly events and activities, both indoors and outdoors.

Gerry Potter (credit Lee Baxter)

Books are big this summer, with festival readings, poetry slams, creative writing activities and famous faces all putting in an appearance.

Food and Drink

All signs point toward June being a scorcher of a month, so let’s take a look at all things summery food and drink.

Tours and Activities

From literary activities to brilliant independent shops, keep your minds and homes filled with the good stuff this month.

Theatre in Manchester

Check out our updated guide for lively theatre festivals, rip-roaring rooftop circus and dreamy outdoor shows.